Hello, friend…
Yesterday I treated myself to a Reiki session by a dear friend. I have been feeling a lot of energy around me of late, mostly good but also negative and it was time to gain some perspective. My nature is that of an anxious creature. My default switch sometimes falls into “sky is falling territory”. But as I’ve gotten older, I’m forcing it more into the “la-dee-da” direction… or I try like hell to.
I’ve recently learned I might be anemic. Which would explain why I’ve felt like a deflated balloon a fair amount. (Further blood tests will confirm if I am. Not a deflated balloon, but anemic.) I’m also in a new job, hostessing at a restaurant, and have been told I need to not look so stressed if I am stressed. Which for someone with anxiety is not the easiest of tasks. It’s like asking anyone, can you not breathe for a bit? Cool. 😉
I worry by nature. I worry too much for a woman of a Protestant background. Leading me to believe that I might really be Jewish or Catholic. Ha!! My point is… there is a lot wired in my system that I need to unlearn. And I can, it’s just going to take time. Maybe my body will balance out again and my signs of anemia will start to reverse.
For as much abundance in my life as there is, and there is a ton, it’s annoying as fuck that I still look for what’s not in it sometimes. Someone to say good morning to as I roll over, a bank account that doesn’t appear to have an eating disorder… After my session yesterday I realized all of these dumb thoughts are just as toxic to my system.
I sat on my balcony last night and gazed up at the stars and just took a breath. I’m blissfully lucky. I’ve worked for a chance to live my life as I choose. And a late night chat with someone I care for deeply, shook me out of my bucket of doubt. He reminded me that neither of us got where we are by accident. It’s taken work. We are both fuelled by a passion to do what we love and that is a beautiful gift. (Support like this is why he brings me such joy. He consistently knows what to say and when. I won the lotto meeting him.💗)
Yes. I perceive my life sometimes as a car rolling off a cliff to that damn song from Benny Hill sometimes. But ya know what, I wouldn’t do a damn thing different.
I’ve got a lot of good stuff in my life and I’m grateful for my superheroes for reminding me when I slip up and forget. 💋
Xo.