Hello, friend…
For some reason, at 11pm on July 10, someone across the street decided to light some fireworks. Now, although it is National Pina Colada Day… my guess it wasn’t in celebration of that. And to be honest, though the noise initially bothered me and left me quite confused… it was a beautiful sight. I appreciated what I saw as much as it agitated me. The noise from fireworks is jarring! But, but… they are quite beautiful.
And now my street is filled with the sounds of either police cars or an ambulance or a firetruck. And as I look across the street, cars are in the cul-de-sac for lord only knows what reason. A lot is happening on a Sunday night. The lights of the airport dance in the horizon. My dog is grumbling at something in our hallway. My left jaw still feeling the residual ache of falling SIDEWAYS in my bathroom yesterday. That’s right, I fell sideways! How? Not sure. Not sure how I gave myself the ol’cartoon cane hook around the neck from stage left and pulled myself to the ground.
But all of it, all of this, this is all temporary! It’s not a pocket I sit in often, but when I do I’m mystified by the idea. That one day people will be looking at photographs of 2022 and marveling or reminiscing about how the city looked or how we dressed etc etc. Much as I do when I look at photos from say, 1920. I sometimes stare at those photos too long, willing myself to time travel as best I can, and immerse myself in that picture. Speaking of pictures, I saw a video taken today of a backyard pool party and I watched it with a bit more intensity than planned when I clicked on it. I just sat in a pocket for a moment of seeing what I didn’t have… I don’t have a house, I don’t have pool, I don’t have this … you get the idea. By some accounts, a woman of my age who moved back home and is barely making ends meet would be a sad case to some… but then I stopped myself and said aloud “but look what you DO have”. And I have a life I love, I live a creative artistic life and I am paid to tell jokes! I’m a working comic. I have an incredible boyfriend. I am supported and encouraged by my parents and family. I am a good ally to my friends who use wheelchairs. I have a lot of love and joy in my life- my life is bright and colourful. My tattoos show my love of art. I have a lot in my life and it’s really important to me that I life my life fully, on my terms because I want what I leave behind to be of value- in my writings or my films or… I just want share the love now, each day. And enjoy each moment!
But I do, I love that this is how I spend my life. And I work really hard each day to improve on my craft, be a good teammate to those I work with. So that brief moment of being sad I didn’t have a house with a pool to invite people over to stayed as such, a brief moment. Because today a friend came by to bake cupcakes and then we told jokes at an open mic- working out the rhythms and words. As you do. And being so grateful for the opportunity to go up and try something new. As you should do.
I’ve been re-reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and the other day while riding the subway I came upon a passage about how ideas come to us and sometimes stay or float away. And how we should appreciate that they come by us at all. Anyway… I had to close my book to get out and change the line I was on from one to the other, and as I did I notice someone in very poor shape sitting on the platform floor. I don’t know if she was on drugs or just in extremely poor health, but I spotted her cup and placed a $5 dollar bill in it. I walked away, and went to open my book again as I waited for my train but I looked over at her again. And she was staring at the bill, inspecting it, feeling the paper. Noticing everything about it. She looked over at me and I nodded and raised my hand a bit as if to say, that’s for you from me. And she bowed her head and smiled before putting the bill in her coat pocket. And I opened my book back up and stared at the phrase “Gratitude, always. Always, gratitude.”
Wherever you find yourself tonight, take it in in a moment of appreciation. Put some money in a strangers hand. That might change their whole trajectory. Create some art. Stare at the stars. And most, best of all … and be grateful for this dance we get to do each day.
xo.
Marriage & the Single Girl 