Tag Archives: manners

dating etiquette

Hello, friend…

It’s Saturday night and I’m sitting at home going  over a conversation I had with my friend Becky at dinner tonight: the fact that when it comes to dating these days, everything just seems so disposable. How we toss away things has now resulted in tossing away romantic possibilities left & right. We’re just swiping everything!

Great dates never to be heard from again!

Plans made to be broken at the 11th hour!

Guys who aren’t interested in dating but just want to “keep things casual and hang out!”

I’m starting to wonder… is there a blackhole filled with the men I’ve been on one date with? Did they just get sucked into some vacuum and tossed into space? And also… is it okay that I’m not keen on “just hanging out”? I’m 39 years old for Pete’s sake! So I decided to consult one of my etiquette books (‘Etiquette for Everybody’, copyright 1952) to gain some perspective and offer these tips below to incorporate into your daily routine. Maybe it’ll make our road to romance less rocky… maybe? Probably not, but it’s worth a go.

  • when a man is accompanying a woman, he should walk on the curb side (yes this was started to protect us ladies from being hit by random, run-away horse drawn carriages but I still love the idea)
  • a man should rise when a woman enters the room and remove his hat (got that, Tinder? Pants ON, hat OFF!)
  • a woman should be able to invite a man someplace without making him think she is pursuing him ( le sigh… god forbid we ask you to out and you think it’s code for “I want to get married”- it’s just a coffee, calm the f**k down)
  • a woman should not accept a valuable present from a man or an article of wearing apparel even from her fiance (… exhibit number one, Destiny’s Child “Independent Woman Pt. 1”)
  • when out, a couple should not talk loudly with their companion (given the advent of smartphones- this really isn’t a problem in 2017)

SO there you have it! Men… take off your hats and head to the curb! Ladies… do not accept that fancy present, you can buy it yourself! Basically, let’s try to bring some manners back, okay? Maybe it’ll help and get us really connecting once again.

Next week… how to properly announce your engagement is off! (Here’s a hint… it’s ALWAYS “by mutual consent.”)

xo.

 

… do you mind?

Hello, friend…

I got to thinking tonight about strange things I’ve been asked while on a date. My friend Wendy & I were out, and chatting about things as one tends to do… and she mentioned that she was once on a date where the guy asked her to split the tax on the bill. He had ordered a pop and she had a beer, they were to pay separately. And he asked her to split the tax on the bill.

I’ve split a bill before and have no problems with doing this, but getting down to the fine detail of the tax being cut in half? Kiiiiinda odd.

What I DO have an issue with is the date I had once, where at the end of the date he asked me to drive him to his next date. Nope! No. That is a definite no.

Also not cool with a date, that didn’t go well, demanding he come up to my apartment after said bad date. Dude… if you wanted to get in my pants, I may have refrained from chatting on the dating site we met on WHILE WE WERE OUT. How did I know he was doing this? Idiot left his sunglasses attached to his shirt, and I saw the reflection from his phone.

But I think what made me laugh the hardest, was a dinner date planned with friends of mine who I don’t see often. And one was bringing his girlfriend. The other agreed to be my date and I show up… and he’s there. Yay! With a woman he just met earlier and invited her to come to dinner with us. Boo!! Which would have been bad enough, but he offered to drive the both of us home. So I sat in the back of the car, while they flirted away.

I just… I just…. I dunno.

xo.

the telephone

“Richard Wright. The telephone. Have you two met?”

Hello, friend…

The above quote is one of my favourite lines from Sex & the City. There was Samantha, sitting by the phone waiting for her boyfriend to show up or at least call to explain his whereabouts. Not to sound as if I’m 82, but kids today can’t relate to the ridiculous power the telephone held. Just a straight up telephone. Not a smartphone, not FaceTime. Just a phone with a handle and buttons you pushed or a dial that you circled around and around.

You dialed the phone number of the object of your affection.

It rang.

Sometimes you hung up immediately in a panic. Sometimes their parents or roommate answered. (Or, in my case once the girlfriend he said he had broken up with answered with a hint of sass in her voice that made you want to punch her.) Sometimes you got the answering machine…. beeeeeeeep. Silence. You tried to calm down the sudden increase in your heartbeat. You left a message.

And then you hung up and judged yourself for the quality of the message you left. I left horrible messages! I still remember one message I left for a guy I had JUST seen and said my full name after my “hello”. Why did I do that? Did I think he was sleeping with a plethora of other Kelly’s? But that message held weight. The leaving a message for a person your heart desired had power. The quality could make or break a call-back. Now? Now, you have to do sit ups and leg lifts so the “selfie” or picture of your ass that you send the person your heart (or libido) desires is worthy of their attention.

So, hence my surprise when a fellow I met online recently asked we chat on the phone before meeting!  We’re talking on the phone?! My excitement level hit 10. I may have briefly envisioned what our wedding would be like. Nevertheless, he called and we had a great chat… and we met that afternoon for our date.

And we clicked, we had people smiling at us! I wanted to tell everyone at the coffee shop we were in This guy telephoned me this morning! It brought back a good feeling, what can I say? So we make plans for our second date. And the next morning, a Monday I should point out, he asked if I was up so he could call me. It was 10:30am. Having just finished my workout, I skipped around my apartment with glee! My phone was not making the sound it makes when I get a text… it was ringing!!

I answered. I took a breath and tried to calm down my heartbeat.

He told me had been doing some thinking.

This was moving too quickly.  (Things were moving too quickly?! We had coffee!) There wouldn’t be a 2nd date.  However… if I just wanted to meet up now and then to have sex he’d love to see me again.

I quickly scrambled to think of words that weren’t fuck, asshole or fucking asshole as I ended my break-up-wake-up call.

And then I gave him my best impression of a dial tone.

xo.