Tag Archives: honesty

choose your own adventure

Hello, friend…

I want to put a thought out into the Universe. In reading Amy Poehler’s book Yes, Please ( a favourite and one I totally recommend) she has a list of things that I copied and put on my wall… “Find a nice boy who is nice to you.”

I am having a hard time with this one. Instead, recently, I found a “nice boy” who made lovely dinner plans with me and gave me his number and pursued me… only to cancel night of said plans and “switch it up” as the kids say, and suggest we go out for drinks with friends. And he spent the night canoodling with another gal and did so directly in front of me for the during of the glass of wine I was trying desperately to chug. I just have to wonder what the pay-off of this was.

Was he expecting a threesome?

Does the man have amnesia?

I really didn’t appreciate the live presentation of “The Better Person’s Guide to Flirting” that was happening right in front of me. So I left. And he was shocked. As a result, I subjected a very kind Uber driver to my weeping – which I tried to keep to a minimum so he didn’t give me a bad rating.

He messaged me endlessly today, wanting to circle back and have said dinner… are you fucking kidding… wait. Maybe he does have amnesia.

(bangs head against wall)

UGH. Okay. I will continue to look for a nice boy who is nice to me, but I’m getting older and tiring easily. Does this ever get easier?? There will be dumb boys, and poor wardrobe choices to impress them, until I come upon someone doesn’t care about that and wants me for me. I don’t know where he is right now, but I hope he’s out there.

xo.

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hoodwinked!

Hello, friend…

As I told my friend Paul tonight, I had a great date recently but he’s suddenly vanished from the site we met on and he’s not replied to my texts… therefore, I do believe that I’ve been hoodwinked. That’s right, hoodwinked! (Not enough people are using that word anymore, so I’m bringing it back.)

Call me old fashioned, but I’d like to have thought a date that went well would result in casual banter afterwards or better yet… another date! How novel would that have been!?! UUGGHHHH… how exactly does dating work anymore?! Am I to solve a limerick that unlocks a security code that sends me on a treasure hunt.. and THEN I get to see the guy again?

When did being honest jump the proverbial shark?! Clearly this guy isn’t keen on me, so maybe he’s just thinking actions speak louder than words. Which is true, they do… but…

Boo-urns to that!!

What on earth is wrong with telling someone how you feel? Why isn’t that a thing anymore?!

That does it. Along with the word Hoodwinked, I’m bringing back Honesty in 2017! I’ll start one of those online petitions…they seem rather effective…

xo.

mic check…

Hello, friend…

I’m finally home from a very long, but very creative day. From transcribing this morning, to stage managing a friend’s upcoming Fringe show and finally running lights & sound at the local comedy club I work at… I’m finally in my pj’s and home. (sigh) I hope you’re getting to know me as I write these posts and send them off into the internets universe… for those who know me personally it’s no surprise I’m a (slight) workaholic, but for those who don’t know me so well…. I tend to wear a few hats. I mean, I like hats… but the proverbial hat(s) is what I’m referring to here.

Take the job I have at the comedy club, for example. I’ve just started to work as a Lighting & Sound Technician again, and it makes me giggle to have folks come up to me before their shows start, with a worried expression on their face, asking if I’ve done this before. I take a breath, smile and calmly tell them they’re in good hands. I started working as a tech for improv shows almost… wait for it… 20 years ago.

Trust me, the realization that this started for me 20 years ago makes me both sad and… well… oh fuck it, it’s kind of depressing that was 20 years ago I first walked into the now-defunct Big City Improv on Queen West on Hallowe’en with my high school pal Christina. If you wore a costume, you got into the show for free. Given that we were students at Etobicoke School of the Arts, we did not need to be asked twice to go somewhere in costume! So down we went, Christina as a “beat-nick” and I as Cinderella… and we were the only ones there dressed up. Leading the comics to think we worked there. Well, by the time we left I had I given my name & number in case they needed an extra hand one night or two… and within a month I was volunteering there, cleaning the washrooms and chatting up our sometimes guest improviser Mark McKinney (of “Kids in the Hall”, “SNL” etc etc fame). I was cleaning toilets for FREE in a comedy club. But… not long after, I rose up to be one of the lighting improvisers at Big City. For the record, I am STILL embarrassed by how badly my first show went. Holy cow, it was rough… but it was my own fault. (Though I redeemed myself in the 2nd show, with a rather on-point Film Noir parody.)

I’m one of those girls who prefers being behind the scenes. For as long as I can remember, I get legitimately pumped to see a crew setting up the stage before a concert. I walk past a lighting board and swoon at the lights and shiny things. Sure, at times I’ve wondered if I have some un-diagnosed condition, but I think it’s a genuine love for being a part of a show come to life. I also get to push buttons and see what happens when I turn this dial or that dial… I still love it!!

And I’m proud to be a woman doing this kind of work! I got some rather swell kudos tonight… one gal was genuinely excited I will be working her show Friday.

Yet, despite how good & tired I feel after all that I packed into today… the club bartender tonight noticed I wasn’t myself. Bartenders are observant like that. It’s true… I’m a bit bummed about a few things. Namely, that on Monday I declared this was going to be a “dry week”! No booze so I could do a system re-boot! Well, it’s Wednesday and let’s just say the wine I had tonight was delicious. As was the beer I had yesterday. And before the show tonight. Hmph. I’m also bummed out that things are really skidding (it seems to me anyhow) with the guy I’ve been dating. I know…  at 37, I’m being a bit of “a girl” complaining about such dumb things.

But I am a girl, damnit! And I’m charge of stuff!! And if I focus on that more than the booze I meant to avoid and the boy… I feel pretty fucking alright.

Now, if you’ll excuse me… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

xo.

h is for honesty.

Hello, friend…

As I sit here on this Wednesday night with a mud mask on my face I am a) trying not to move my face too much and b) thinking a bit about a conversation had today. My friend is in town from out West and we met up for a catch-up. And while we sipped on some of the most potent coffees we’d had in a while, we talked about our love lives.

He had re-connected with someone recently, who showed an interest in seeing him sometime and then poof! Stopped responding once he set up a date. Either she had something else come up, or perhaps she suddenly became stuck underneath something heavy and could not reach a telephone. But it’s a common occurrence for those of us in the (dating) field. The R.M.I.A. : the romantic missing in action.

It happens now and then to all of us. I think. (Well, that’s at least how I take comfort in it.) Conversation begins, goes well, a time and place is suggested for a meeting spot and then Poof! They’re gone. It’s like we’ve suddenly asked the wrong question. We picked the wrong door number or something. And the truth is, as my friend and I agreed upon today, is that this person simply lost interest. It became work. They met someone else. Whatever. It’s always something.

So… why not just be honest and admit to that? Why is that some people think not returning calls or text messages is the more grown up way to behave? In the words of Charlie Brown… good grief.

Sure, there are certain times where honesty is NOT the better policy. Like the time you finally sleep with cute guy you’ve been seeing and the sex lasts 30 seconds? Not the time to be honest. Nope. Smile and sigh. Smile. And. Sigh.

But as often as I have rolled my eyes at the “I need to break this off to focus on my music” or “I’m taking a break from dating” (um, you just asked me out for a coffee… but okay. whatever.) As often as I have heard that, I sort of  appreciate the effort made to come up with something. It all goes back to just not being that into me, I get it!  But why is it so hard for us to just say that… why do we make it sound like dating person X requires copious amounts of work and study. I’m not a mid-term for crying out loud.

I guess we can blame that first person to opt out of a date due to their need to wash their hair. Though perhaps they had some sort of freakish scalp issue… (shrugs)

xo.

info booth

Hello, friend…

I was supposed to head out of town next week, to see a friend, but as we hadn’t been chatting much of late I decided to cancel my trip. I sent him a note recently to check in with how he was, and he told me he was seeing someone now. Now… doing the romantic math in my head, I deduced that was likely why we had stopped chatting. Soooo… may I ask why he encouraged me to stay with him as plans were being made? Shouldn’t he have told me there was a lady in his life now?

That would have been a good piece of info to have handy. BEFORE I booked my plane ticket.

I have had strange bits of information handed to me by guys over the years. Picture it, it was a summer’s night and my fella picked me up at the end of my workday… with my heart beating excitedly over our plans of dinner & a viewing of TRON (you read that right people, TRON. Don’t judge me.) He seemed excited to me. Seemed being the operative word here.  For moments later he said to me: “I can’t do dinner tonight. We need to break up. I owe it to my ex-girlfriend to give her another chance.”

Wait. WHAT?!?!

If ya didn’t want to watch TRON you could have just said so, buddy!

But really. If my head would have been able to pop off my body, spin around & emit copious clouds of smoke out of my ears it would have. I should have kicked him in the balls and told him that my return policy doesn’t work that way. But no, no he talked me into having a drink at The Rivoli. And then we walked ALL over Toronto. This jerk basically got the date we had planned (minus the cinematic classic that is TRON) AND sexy times later with whoever the hell this powerful ex girlfriend was. AUUGGHHH!!!

How long had she been in the picture? This would have been very helpful information to have earlier.

On the reverse end of things, I have felt like an Info Booth in some of my relationships. Guys who I’ve met who never wanted to get married or have kids, suddenly are married with kids upon saying goodbye to me. Men who don’t want to commit EVER are all over it as soon as we part ways. Fuck. I mean, I’m all over helping out the community but not like this! I’m not volunteering my services so you can figure your shit out.

At times I’ve wondered if my online dating profile should come with the tag line “Not sure what you’re looking for? Date me! I’ll help you figure it out.” (sigh) In the meantime, NO. You aren’t allowed to borrow my copy of TRON. 🙂

xo.