choose your own adventure

Hello, friend…

I want to put a thought out into the Universe. In reading Amy Poehler’s book Yes, Please ( a favourite and one I totally recommend) she has a list of things that I copied and put on my wall… “Find a nice boy who is nice to you.”

I am having a hard time with this one. Instead, recently, I found a “nice boy” who made lovely dinner plans with me and gave me his number and pursued me… only to cancel night of said plans and “switch it up” as the kids say, and suggest we go out for drinks with friends. And he spent the night canoodling with another gal and did so directly in front of me for the during of the glass of wine I was trying desperately to chug. I just have to wonder what the pay-off of this was.

Was he expecting a threesome?

Does the man have amnesia?

I really didn’t appreciate the live presentation of “The Better Person’s Guide to Flirting” that was happening right in front of me. So I left. And he was shocked. As a result, I subjected a very kind Uber driver to my weeping – which I tried to keep to a minimum so he didn’t give me a bad rating.

He messaged me endlessly today, wanting to circle back and have said dinner… are you fucking kidding… wait. Maybe he does have amnesia.

(bangs head against wall)

UGH. Okay. I will continue to look for a nice boy who is nice to me, but I’m getting older and tiring easily. Does this ever get easier?? There will be dumb boys, and poor wardrobe choices to impress them, until I come upon someone doesn’t care about that and wants me for me. I don’t know where he is right now, but I hope he’s out there.

xo.

i heard the news today…

Hello, friend…

The news of the world right now, from the U.S. specifically, has just broken my heart to pieces. I’m sad, I’m scared for friends and strangers. That I’m having conversations with my parents about the possibility of a 3rd world war starting… I just can’t even go there now. But we’re having these conversations. My parents are immigrants to Canada, as were their parents. My mom and dad came from England and Latvia, respectively, with their families as WWII had made it unsafe to live in their homelands. My dad came to Canada without his mom and sister, as my Aunt Aija took ill before their boarding of a ship to bring them to Halifax, and traveled to a new land with his dad and step-mom. My mom, Aunt Ruth & late Nanny, Lillian were granted a spot on a ship they weren’t supposed to be on. My parents were very lucky, they arrived in a new land safely and in time, made their mark. I just find tonight, I think of these moments, and my breath gets heavy and I’m terrified to think of what this year will bring.

I don’t mean to be so heavy tonight, but I’m someone who is very sponge like… I absorb (sometimes maybe too much of ) the world around me.

So, in an effort to calm my anxieties of the day, I’m going to share with you my gratitude list. A list of 10 things I am grateful for, no matter how big or how small. Because it helps my heart, to be reminded of the good that I know is always around me.

Kelly’s Gratitude List for 1-29-17

  1. My family
  2. Snowfall
  3. Running into a friend I hadn’t seen in a while on the streetcar
  4. “Sorry” by Justin Beiber (or is it Bieber… I don’t know….)
  5. I get paid to write & I get paid to work in a bakery… #winning
  6. THIS speech (also, my crush on this man just grew 10 times bigger):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cxbzxs2hMbY
  7. Coffee
  8. A VERY cute guy gave me his phone number this week
  9. The conditioner I bought
  10. Slipper Socks

I know this may seem a bit trivial, but, it helps my heart. I send you a big hug wherever you are.

xo.

 

 

wp_20130818_006 (My mom, seated front row, Montreal – undated.)

fried-day…

Hello, friend…

It’s been an interesting week. I’ve started on a new project, that will take me through the winter months, and it’s not without its challenges. Starting something new never is without its challenges! I’m hoping I will be able to navigate the waters, but this Friday night had me leaving work and crying as soon as the company of the people on my subway had dispersed. Text messages were sent to my brother and a friend, telling them I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew and maybe I’ll quit. While I can’t get into what exactly I’m working on, needless to say I’m in a spot where I’m taking what I know (writing, being funny, being organized)…and pushing my boundaries.

It’s growing pains, right?

Now, it didn’t help that I had a panic attack yesterday. And there was too much talk about an old flame of mine. And I forgot my hat at home. You know what, yesterday felt like the first time I really bombed while doing stand-up, I lost control off the top of the day (forgetting my hat)… and by the end, I was crying in the bathroom. Wondering what I didn’t get into a “stable” career path.

For someone, such as myself, it’s funny though how much I don’t like stability. I have anxiety, I panic at the drop of (pardon the call-back), a hat. And yet, I use it to my advantage and use it to prove myself wrong… well, I try to. Some days you just gotta ride the inner roller-coaster and accept that using powdered coconut milk in your pancakes for breakfast REALLY was not a good call, Zemnickis. (It really was not. But I now know better for tomorrow’s breakfast.)

ANYWAY. What I’m not doing a great job of today is getting to my point. A simple one.

Last night, friend’s hosted a board games night and I’m blissfully glad I splashed some cool water on my face and headed out the door. I almost turned back home when I got to the subway as I felt my anxiety tap me on the shoulder, but I continued on. Laughter, veggies & dip, and the company of people I adore brought me back to what REALLY mattered that day: My friends. Sharing stories. Kindness.

And then I got a text from a strange man online, asking if we could go for brunch & then have sex! No, strange man, we cannot… but thank you for making me laugh very hard when I needed it.

xo.

 

tell your story.

Hello, friend…

I absolutely could not have imagined on Monday how this week would turn out. Maybe you’ve had a week like that recently, where by the time Sunday rolls around you’re not certain how x, y & z happened… but they did. And I mean this in the best way possible! I know utterly terrible things can pop out of nowhere, but in this case it’s all good. 🙂

If I’ve learned anything this week, it’s the power and the importance of telling your story. There is absolutely nothing better than speaking your truth, there is absolutely nothing more important. Because the thing is, you never know how your story can be a spark for someone else. And there have been some gorgeous sparks this week as the result of an article I wrote for Hello Giggles (well, hello…). From that article, I got a call from CBC Radio and a program of theirs called Fresh Air… they wanted to talk to me on air!!!! So many firsts have happened in these early days of 2017… I sold my first article, and I did my first Radio Interview.

Beautiful things can happen when we talk, when we share, when we listen. We don’t do enough of that. (This may make me sound old, but, it’s true… social media is quite the opposite of anything social. So after you finish here, please go make plans with a friend to have a coffee. Or walk in the park… unless it’s minus 20 outside. Then just stay inside with your coffees.)

A few folks have told me my career shift is inspiring to them, gave a dash of hope to a risk they thought of taking. That means more to me than I can tell you. I took a very risky turn stepping out of a role I had established myself in, but by taking that time away, I got to know myself again. I needed to get away from that life… I HAD to. I would love to run into my time machine, and go back 10 years to run to my 28 year old self with arms wide open and scream out “THINGS ARE GOING TO BE FIIIIIIINE! YOU’RE GOING TO BE MAKING A F**KING DOCUMENTARY IN 10 YEARS!!” as I hug her tightly.

Anyhoo…. Here is the link to my amazing adventure from this week, my very first radio interview:

img_0803

(with Eli Glasner at CBC Radio)

 

xo.

well, hello…

Hello, friend…

I have the best news to share, Hello Giggles has very kindly published an essay of mine and if you don’t mind… I’d like to share it with YOU! I’m absolutely tickled they chose to add this to their awesome website.

http://hellogiggles.com/left-entertainment-industry-became-a-waitress/

A pretty sweet way to start 2017, I’d say. 🙂

xo.

 

new!

Hello, friend…

Happy New Year! How did you close out 2016? I was at the ROM with my friends Sara & Chris and a handful of their cool pals… it was such a great night. We all looked HAWT and we were in a museum drinking wine, there were snacks and plenty of mingling with the dinosaurs. There was FREE food in tiny Chinese food take-away boxes! ADORABLE! Canadians only see those boxes in American sitcoms, we don’t get those when we order in Chinese food. Man! Those boxes are the cutest. ANYHOO. While drunk boy & drunk girl were making out at the table near me, I was feeling like the true winner as I scooped a tiny box of mac n’ cheese and headed up to a room filled with gem stones with my squad.*

(* Mental note, stop saying “my squad”. You’re almost 39 and you are not Taylor Swift. Probably just spell HAWT as Hot, too.)

I had free food. I had access to booze. And I was staring at diamonds. This is not a bad way to end a year and start a new one, folks.

Did I have a date for NYE? Nooooope. Did I have amazing people around me, felt good and was happy? Yuuuuuuup. I mean, I was wearing my favourite Calvin Klein dress that I bought WHEN I WAS TWENTY-NINE!!! I STILL FIT IN IT!!! Sure, there was no Midnight Kiss for me, but I bought that dress TEN YEARS AGO AND IT STILL FITS. Yeah, okay, it would have been awesome if a cute fella swooped me for a kiss. That would have been very very nice. But no, no instead I had a guy earlier that day confess that his Top Three interests are “Smoking weed, singing and masturbating”. Hashtag: win! 😦

I felt like a gem last night, though. A new year, I looked good, I had a tiny box of food and could have easily taken 20 more tiny boxes of food had I brought a bigger purse. That’s a fun problem to have! Not a fun problem to have? Dealing with a boyfriend who had left his previous girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant and now had a new girlfriend who was trying hard to get along with his family who still love his old girlfriend who happens to be offering out ultimatums to his new girlfriend because she feels she needs to suffer too. OMG!!!!!! This was told to me by someone I didn’t know at the MALL. Clearly, this young lady needed to vent and my heart sank for her. (She was my make-up artist at the store I was in. I really had no escape route.) Relationships can be so complicated, but that sounds like walking into a trap. Daily. Even if you know where the traps are.

Truth be told, it was a moment where I breathed a sigh of relief that I am single. I don’t go out of my way to celebrate the fact that I am without a boyfriend, but in my head I high-fived myself as she spoke.

Have I mentioned a guy told me one of his top interests was masturbating? I have? Okay. Cool beans.

I left my night at the museum with a light buzz from the champagne, laughing with my friends and oozing gratitude that one year ended and a new one started amongst beautiful things and shiny, happy people.

I don’t know if 2017 will yield any museum worthy pieces, but time will tell. What I do know that there is beauty in the smallest of things and those moments are worth celebrating any day of the year.

xo.

hoodwinked!

Hello, friend…

As I told my friend Paul tonight, I had a great date recently but he’s suddenly vanished from the site we met on and he’s not replied to my texts… therefore, I do believe that I’ve been hoodwinked. That’s right, hoodwinked! (Not enough people are using that word anymore, so I’m bringing it back.)

Call me old fashioned, but I’d like to have thought a date that went well would result in casual banter afterwards or better yet… another date! How novel would that have been!?! UUGGHHHH… how exactly does dating work anymore?! Am I to solve a limerick that unlocks a security code that sends me on a treasure hunt.. and THEN I get to see the guy again?

When did being honest jump the proverbial shark?! Clearly this guy isn’t keen on me, so maybe he’s just thinking actions speak louder than words. Which is true, they do… but…

Boo-urns to that!!

What on earth is wrong with telling someone how you feel? Why isn’t that a thing anymore?!

That does it. Along with the word Hoodwinked, I’m bringing back Honesty in 2017! I’ll start one of those online petitions…they seem rather effective…

xo.