48 – 40

Hello, friend…

This time tomorrow, I will be out of a job and 48 hours from turning 40. I’m not entirely sure how all my upcoming bills will get paid. I’m not entirely sure who keeps stamping my pass to continue on being “an adult”, because I still don’t feel like an adult. Some days I feel like I’m still in the sandbox and playing and just enjoying what a day brings. And then I’m shaken from my castle making shenanigans when I get a call from Visa telling me a credit card bill is past due.

But strangely… I’m not all that concerned. Should I be? Should I be concerned that I’m not concerned? It’s not that I’m not focused, it’s not that I don’t have goals… I’m very ambitious, I’ve definitely got some lady-balls because hell, I walked from a rather lucrative TV career to waitress in my mid-30s! And doing that taught me the value of happiness. I wasn’t happy in what I was doing, so I changed that. I discovered that I was a storyteller- I knew it all along, really but I actually forgot that truth about myself somewhere along the way.

My 30 year old self couldn’t have foreseen my doing stand up. I think my 17 year old self could have predicted it, but then I got a job and I bought my first home at a young age and I was doing the things a young adult should do… and…. AAUUUGGHHH. Why does life do that?? Why did I have to become what people thought I should be, and not who I wanted to be? ANYWAY.  I’m making my wee little mark as a stand up, though… lots of shows coming in April, and I want to get down to the States this year to try my hand at some open mics.

I dunno. For whatever the reason, I knew in my bones it was time to make a change again. Tomorrow I’m making a change. I listened to my gut. And so… (deep breath) off I go. I’ll send updates from the field…

 

xo.

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