it’s hard out there for a cod

Hello, friend…

As you’ve probably reasoned from reading this blog of mine, I don’t have the best luck with love. (Or, as most will advise me, I’m swimming in a plethora of material! Be grateful!) ANYWAY. It’s hard out there for us single folk in the big city. You meet people, you click and then they vanish… you don’t click and you cannot get them to stop calling you… you meet up for a drink and realized you’ve already been out once before, long ago. (I actually haven’t had this happen, but for as big as Toronto is, I doubt I’m far from this happening one day.)

But any time my heart has been busted,  any time I’ve cried about a boy, I’ve been told time and time again “there are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Yeah.

(insert cricket sound effect)

About that…

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/talking-cod-found-to-have-regional-accents-and-you-can-listen-to-them-here/

WTF??!! Even the COD are having trouble with mating because they can’t understand these new cod who are trying to sweet talk them into making more cod?? The same troubles I am having at a bar with [insert drunk dude’s name here], there is a cod in the Atlantic going through the same shit I’m dealing with?! Instead of non-requested dick picks, someone is seeing a fin they didn’t need to see THAT early into the relationship? And have no way of proving that fin is being sent is from the cod who sent it?

HUH! I guess we really are all connected….

A question. Do mom cod tell their young cod daughters “don’t worry dear, there are plenty of men on land”? I wonder. I wonder if some single cod is swimming about and looking up wondering if it’s just some bullshit saying. True, their mating problem has more to do with global warming and pollution than mine does… but I may start blaming my dating woes on global warming.  It does a lot of bad things, I’ll just add one more thing to its list!

My love of Disney’s The Little Mermaid made me long to live under the sea and hang out with singing crabs and have awesome hair… but I guess the grass isn’t always greener…

Anyway. Take comfort in knowing that the next time you’re out and in someplace where the music is too loud and a guy who is drinking like a fish is trying to chat you up and you can’t understand him… remember there is an actual fish somewhere in the Atlantic going through the same crap you’re going through.

xo.

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