It’s late and I’ve worked a lot today, but before I hit the road to dreamland … Death Cab for Cutie is playing on TV and I’m just enjoying that and a moment of peace. I have been chatting with a bit with a fellow online, and today phone numbers were exchanged which seems like a decent bit of progress. Or it seemed like it. Because his first question was regarding what colour my underwear was. I don’t mean to be a jerk, but what the hell is wrong with just “shooting the shit” and being all “it’s great we exchanged numbers”. Starting small! Nope, it went from my exclaiming my joy Canada had won Gold in Swimming to “so are you more of a colourful person underneath or just black?” (slams head on desk- repeatedly)
I recently started thinking more about who I let into my life, and what impressions have been left on me. What I can let go of, what I should let go of. These guys are gone from my life but, the impression is left in a shirt I wore (we kissed that night!) or a ticket to a show that I still have in my desk drawer as a memento. You get the idea. I’ve gone through things a bit blindly, if I’m being frank and I think… I think I need to contemplate why I’ve gone for the guys I’ve gone for. Especially the less than savory ones.
There’s been a few of those.
In a lot of areas of my life I’m cautious, what work I take on… but dating, it’s been this open casting call. The Door is open, guys… come on in! Maybe I need to be more selective, just a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I have been lucky to have some INCREDIBLE men come into my life, there have been some absolute gems. And I want to go back to there. I deserve good romantic things!
I have a quote on my fridge, from the late- great Mike Nichols, it might be paraphrasing what he actually said but nonetheless, on my fridge is the phrase “don’t cast assholes”. I looked at it a bit differently the other day… hmmm…. perhaps there is something there.