a system upgrade

Hello, friend…

First off, it’s my birthday week. I now allow you do as you please all week.*

(*I may not yield any actual power. Do as you please at your own risk.)

But, this weekend my fitness group (CSatt Fitness) had me as their guest blogger and I received some really lovely responses to my post. So! As I get ready to turn a year older, and become my best self ever (which will happen!!)… I share with you what I shared with them. (It’s a bit of a read. BUT! I think it’s worth it.)

xo.

_________________________________

As I was sitting here thinking of what to talk about on today’s blog , a commercial came on for the new iPhone that caught my attention. Without getting into the specifics, the commercial boasted about how “you can do things faster” on this new iPhone. And not to knock the new phone, but really… How important are you that you need to check a YouTube video faster? If I need to save time on anything, cleaning my apartment faster would be up there. My smartphone doesn’t do that… yet. But, I digress. If anything, it got me to thinking about why I’m with this lovely FitFam. Let me explain.

There is something these days to having the latest, sleekest, bigger, faster thing. We’re always upgrading things.  Yet, when it comes to ourselves it’s so easy to get stuck in bad habits and continually make poor choices. I’m sure there are people who will be investing in this new fridge that shows you a picture of what’s inside your fridge (again… Really?!) before they take stock of what they’re putting in said fridge. I think for a lot of people, their own systems get rundown before they realize that they need to change things up. You need a system re-boot to protect you from incoming viruses, the warning sign keeps popping up with that annoying “ping” sound and it’s not going to stop until you actually pay attention to it.

Last year, after my annual physical my doctor informed me that my blood sugar levels were of concern and I was getting very close to being Diabetic. I’m someone who was diagnosed as being Hypoglycemic and have known that it’s basically just one rest stop away from Diabetes-ville if I’m not careful.(My weight had gone up, too.) I basically was getting into some pretty dangerous territory. The next day, I tearfully told a friend what had happened with my physical and about an hour later, I happened to run into my friend Colin. And he told me he had just opened up his own gym, and I should come check it out. Taking this as a sign (as I’m someone who believes when you put something out into the Universe, you should be prepared for an answer)… I check out Colin’s gym. I had just moved into a new apartment building, and the mirror at the end of my hallway had a “fun-mirror” effect that you’d see at a carnival. Or, at least that’s what I thought. Nope, no it turns out that was actually me. “I can’t believe I’m this big”, I remember thinking to myself as I walked past that mirror the first few times. So, with myself signed up for a free-session at my friend’s gym, I got to talking to a personal trainer there. Whatever came out of my mouth lead this man to say the following: “I think before you workout here, you need to write a letter to yourself. You need to believe in yourself.” I need to confess that this fellow is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN I HAVE EVER MET, and clearly this guy would be described as “deep”. I immediately wished that I was in better shape and hoped he was straight and single. But, at home I went to write a letter to myself. I put my fears on paper. There is something to putting your words on paper, is there not? But I wrote it down. And I cried.

A seed was planted.

But a seed won’t grow without care, water, nourishment…

I don’t recall what got me back to investigating Cody’s fitness challenges. I had participated in one a year previous, but didn’t continue on. I figured “I got this”, after 30 days, I knew what I was supposed to do. It’s somewhat ridiculous to tell the thing (or person) that is making your life better “Okay! You can go now, I feel good and this is making me feel good, so please leave.” And then we go have a long chat with the ice cream in our fridge to congratulate ourselves on “ditching the dead-weight that was our positive life change”! Huzzah! We’ll show ‘em! The brain is a funny thing, is it not? Through that letter to myself though, the shift had started. It is one thing to want to look better, and we can change the packaging, but I think if you want to commit to an actual change of self it needs to start with the hardware. For me, that hardware was damaged when as a pre-teen I was bullied by a couple of classmates. It altered how I saw myself. I saw myself through the eyes of someone who wasn’t even ME. I’ll deal with it later, I’ll get to it later… but the “it” I was referring to was me. When exactly did I plan to take care of ME?! There’s only one of me, and I’m the only captain on this boat… yet for many many years I was pretty much on course to head right into the proverbial iceberg.

Maybe that’s where you are now. But here’s the thing.

You’re going to get lost. We are all going to get lost and go off-course at times.

Some of us will do this more than others. For some of us, this will be the ONLY thing we do consistently.

But unless you are a permanent resident on the TV show Big Brother, there is no writer or director or editor who will be packaging your life into the “most dramatic life ever”. You are the crew. You’re basically a one-man film crew. And you can choose what path to take, every day you can choose.

I wake up each morning, to a quote I have on my wall that advises me “You have to do the thing. Just do the thing.” Whatever that thing is for you, stop talking about it and DO THE THING. This year, I made good on a promise to myself to try stand-up. I was ready to try, I wanted to try.

Here’s the truth… You’re going to fall down. You will fail. You will need to upgrade the hardware.

But we are constantly starting fresh and learning something new.

You CAN do the thing. So go do it!

Xo.

My jam for today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THeLVhU53ow

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