questions. answers.

Hello, friend…

I was asked something tonight on a date (& by my date), that threw me for a bit of a loop. But I’ll get to that in a minute. Our date almost didn’t happen actually… the hostess at the restaurant seated my date first and didn’t note it on her sheet . So when I arrived, she forgot he had been seated and sat me in another locale. 40 minutes later, as I was being served my dinner & my waiter consoled me with “I don’t think he stood you up, he’s likely in traffic”… along comes my date with my sides of red pepper and grated parm.

I’ve been stood up a couple of times before. So I was all ready to settle into my “Dating sucks! I need to Google how you become a Nun!” mindset, but luckily, once we forgave each other for not actually stand each other up… we had a pretty damn good time… and I was thinking “we should do this again! Dating is awesome!” And then he asked me a question I’m fairly certain is not recommended to ask on a first date. Or any date. But definitely not the first date.

“Why are you single? Guys would be so lucky to be with you, it must be something you’re doing?”

(crickets)

Well. The truth of the matter is, I don’t know. And I told him this, I do not know. I do not know many things about the world, I do not know why I’m suddenly starting to like songs by One Direction… there’s just shit I haven’t figured out yet. I’ve been told over the years in casual conversation (especially since I passed 35  a few years back) things that have made me angry … par example, “That will likely go away if you have kids” (as my lovely Chiropractor casually mentioned when I talked about some hormonal issue). Good grief. I’m single and I’m not a parent, I don’t have the plague!! Please do not treat me as though I need to be examined and kept in a protective bubble!

ANYWAY… Why are YOU single, man sitting across from me at the dinner table?? His response was simple, that he chose to focus on himself and work on being a better person. Fair enough, acceptable answer… But I am single, and it’s not by choice it just…  it just IS. I can only figure that I haven’t met the right guy yet. I have tried being the hunter, being the hunted, not acting interested, being myself, not being myself, one date accused me online of being a robot! A Robot! (This was due to the App not working, and my answers appearing on his phone out of order ‘causing him to think I was made of metal and wires and whatever else robots are made of.)

Am I single? Yes.

Am I a robot? No.

The long and the short of it was that my date was confused that I was still floating about, still available. Perhaps if I had confessed that thing about One Direction it would have made him dizzy. Should I not be out and about? Hell no!! Should I be home waiting for a reputable gentleman caller? NOPE! Is it okay that I have added songs by One Direction to a Spotify playlist I made? Y…. y…. yes?? Look. I’ve made some dreadful mistakes on my road of romance, I’ve hurt a couple of guys deeply and I am fully aware this is so. And I wonder sometimes if my being single is my good friend karma just doing what it’s supposed to do.

Regardless, the way I see it things are the way they’re supposed to be for now. I’m totally cool if things change tomorrow (*hint universe!! HINT!*) but I’ve just got gotta roll with it… and I must accept the fact that the two coffees I had after 3pm are now biting me in the butt and I will likely not fall sleep until 6am.

xo.

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