going back…

Hello, friend…

I made my 5th appearance on TMZ Live today. I’m not entirely certain why they keep asking me back, but they do… and I have to admit it’s kinda fun! Today, I was asked to comment on the story of the kid who recently tripped and broke his fall & a painting from the 1600s in the process. It’s pretty damn funny. Unfortunate, yes… but it’s pretty damn funny.

So, I write some “bits” and just as I’m about to get on, I get told the story’s dropped and I was asked to comment on the fact that Drake & Serena Williams are back together. Now, a few days ago, I never knew they were together the 1st time. I knew she dated Common (I’m still not over the shock his first name is actually Lonnie, thank you voice-over person from the Oscars for that nugget) but my knowledge about her love life stopped there. The truth is, it’s none of my business… but thanks to TMZ, I had to make it my business for 30 seconds today.

Here’s the thing. Apparently her friends are warning her to use caution with getting back together with Mr. Drake. Isn’t that the way though, that a sort of Bat Signal goes out to your friends? Warning! She’s about to hook up with “that guy” again!! Warning! Prep battle stations now! She’s doing this again, people!! Friends can see things you can’t with the rose-coloured glasses you’re sporting that come free with each (inevitable) romantic mistake.

For me, it was Rob S. He came and went from my life so often over four years or so that my mom was pretty certain we’d get married. He just kept coming back… though yes, I kept letting him back in. There was that.

We met on the set of a TV show, I flirted by stealing his sandwich. He pulled down his pants and mooned me. By the end of the night, I wrote him a note saying something like it was great to meet him… passed it to him outside the studio and left. He ran after me, and said “You forgot to give me your phone number”. This lead to him coming to the wrap party of said show, where we played pool and as the loser of the game he informed me that we had to make out. And I was HOOKED. He was… I dunno, there was just something about him.

Which maybe is how Serena sees Drake. Granted, we’re nothing alike, but Rob S. was in an N’sync cover band. (I wish this was a lie, but it is not.) And I, I do like tennis. But I guess my point is, is that when that one who makes your heart race and says all the right things just when you need to hear them and who just has “it” comes back after leaving you in a pile of tears and tissues? You forgive instantly. You buy into the “things will be different this time”. Either I had amnesia or I truly believed Rob S., but every time he wanted back in? Door was opened.

I always thought things would be different “this time”.

Until one day, after he left the city to take a radio gig elsewhere, he told me on the phone that I should spend the weekend when his girlfriend was out of town. I could come sooner, but her dad might not like it. HER DAD. (Again, I wish this was made up for comedic points, but, nope!) Oh, Rob… Rob who gave me a ring and then told me he gave it to his last girlfriend but she gave it back when they split… Rob who, when I asked him why he had male porn magazines under the coffee table told me they were his sisters…. Rob who once asked me at the end of our date if I could drive him to his next date that night. (I did not. I promise you, I did not.)

I’ve made dumb romantic choices over the years, but who hasn’t?! Famous or non… we hope and we wish constantly that things will work out this time. And I’m not saying these are things that will happen between Serena and Drake, and for her sake I hope they don’t… but I’m here if she needs to talk.

xo.

p.s. Here’s the video of that kid and the painting: http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/08/25/434565176/video-12-year-old-boy-trips-rips-hole-in-1-5-million-painting

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