I’m sorry to be tardy with today’s dance party… I blame Monday.
After all, I started my day early, off to the doctor for my annual physical. Where I proceeded to break into a pool of tears after my weight check-in (I’m overweight) and discovery that I’ve shrunk (I’m 37 years old and I’ve ALREADY started shrinking?!?!? I’m getting someone to measure me at the gym tomorrow). And then there’s the sad state on my romantic life that the most action I’ve gotten in months was the gynecological exam my doctor just gave me. Hence the tears.
I was sitting there in my paper dress, not able to logically reason how I might be considered “skinny fat” (nope, I’m just fat) and at the same time, wondering “what would Amy Schumer do right now with these bits of life material?”
So. To the baby who was crying in the room next to mine…. I feel for you kid. ‘Cause the medical picture of a penis on the room of the wall I was in is the only one I’ve seen since March.
… oh, cure me of my woes Pulp!!!!!!!