I’m not feeling all that great. I’ve got a cold. And I HATE having a cold. I become a miserable baby when my sinuses are plugged up… likely because all of that stuff never fully developed. Yup, my ear canals, nasal passage ways are still child like… discovered when I get my tonsils out in my 20s. I know. You didn’t need to know this. But I have a cold… and my head is stuffy and I can’t hear anything to the contrary right now.
What’s interesting is though is that lately I’ve been bad about meditating. I’ve meant to, but haven’t made the time for it. So I have to wonder if my body just went “hey! we’ll figure out how to make you pay attention to me!” and filled my head up with this icky cold. After all, I (mostly) work at home. I work alone. Who the fuck did I catch this from?!?! So. Mental note made… I will meditate. Everyone should meditate! (You might be telling me otherwise, but again, my ears are plugged… so I can’t hear ya.)
What I did do for myself recently though, was end the relationship I’ve been in. I mean, he started the ball rolling by ignoring calls and texts… and we had only been seeing each other for three months! Which was too early for me to be regulated to an afterthought!! But here’s the crazy thing… we got along swimmingly. We had a lot in common. We made each other laugh. I couldn’t believe that we were parting ways because things were good. Who breaks up because of that?! Well, we did. Like I say, he was pulling away despite all the good stuff… which he acknowledged was there. So, the big girl pants were put on. I wanted to meet in person. But he wasn’t biting. And so we ended things…
On Facebook messenger. (sigh)
I am not proud of this.
But what I am proud of is that I listened to my gut. This wasn’t working anymore. Having gotten out of the sticky web that was S and our five year “faux-lationship”, I wasn’t interested in being put on the proverbial shelf once more by the guy I’m dating. Perhaps I wasn’t the right one for him and vice versa. I may be quirky, but a knick-nack I’m not. And we were both kind in our words to each other… there were no hard feelings.We knew it was the right thing to do.
I would have added an emoticon of a cat riding away on a scooter to my last message, but at the risk of looking like an idiot, decided against it.
So back out into the relationship mall I go… hoping that one day, I’ll find that one thing that never seems to be in stock when I’m looking.