A few weeks ago while out at brunch with a friend, we got to talking about what was new in my dating life. And I told him about some of the guys I’d been meeting lately and how I’ve been confused by a very simple problem. I’m not sure if I’ve actually been going on dates. “I think they’ve been dates, but I’m not sure” I said. He looked at me strangely and asked “how are they not dates?” Well, as I told him, by my logic they’ve definitely been dates but I seem to be coming across a group of men who don’t even want to be tied down to the idea of being on a date. Rather, we are just “hanging out”. You know, it’s hard to date when you start off not even knowing if you’re out on an actual date. Should I now be confirming it’s an actual date when asking or being asked out?!
Take for example, the date or rather, the plans I had recently. I asked a guy out to an art show and then a concert. A quick text of “is it a date?” to a friend resulted in a response of “Yep.” So off I go in a fantastic Calvin Klein dress with my hair did on a date! But then I told another friend of my evening plans and they said “well, it could be a date but it might just be that you’re hanging out”. Good grief, people!! How are we not able to agree on this? As it would turn out, the guy I was out with did agree this was a date… sort of. When we were asked at the art show if we were on a date I think I heard him agree that we were.
How is it that some of us are fearful of the simple commitment a date brings? Is it too much to ask you’re my companion for a few hours? And if it’s that you don’t want to be seen with the person you’re out with, well, you shouldn’t have agreed to spend time with them in the first place! Do you feel you are doing the person a favour? Well, that’s when it’s best to put on your honesty pants and confess that you aren’t able to go out that night.
So what is a single girl who is looking for love to do? Aside from not assuming she’s on a date? But is wrong that I want to expect something more? And by “expecting something more” I don’t mean copious photos of his private parts attached to a text message! Sure, I guess points can be given for honesty to these men who instantly admit they don’t want any boundaries. But! We don’t need to get married, we don’t even need to ever talk again!!!
I’m a simple girl.
I just want to be with a guy who is man enough to admit we’re on a date.