When I get down about a fellow not returning my call or an email, I remind myself of one very very important thing… Brendan Fraser thinks I’m awesome.
I know, I know. You’re asking yourself “You mean the dude who was in Encino Man?” Yuppers. That’s him. (BTW, please watch Gods & Monsters… it’s a MUCH better film.)
Now you’re probably asking yourself “And how, exactly, does he know who you are?”
Picture it. It was the Spring of 2006. I was booked to work the Canada’s Walk of Fame broadcast gala as the writers’ assistant. I slept through my alarm the day of the broadcast. It was raining. I was in the throws of some big ass PMS funtimes. I was, in short, a hot mess.
Brendan, the day of the show, had not written his acceptance speech. One of the producers was in a panic, so upon Brendan’s arrival he asked me to go and chat with him. Brendan and I bonded instantly! And the producer noticed, and looked stunned. And Brendan and I noticed him getting antsy, and we shared a private laugh.
As we eventually came to sit together with Naomi & George (who wrote for the show), the usual TV mayhem went into full effect as we got closer to air time. And I have anxiety attacks. And Brendan clearly saw me panicking thanks to our magical bond, and… that’s when I felt hands on my shoulders and a back massage begin. I’m not kidding you. I looked at him and said “This is awesome, but you are not helping with my concentration”. And we laughed again. And he started taking my picture as I worked. There was a moment where he left his notebook with me and I thought, briefly, “do I write my number in there?” then I thought “he’s married you idiot, NO! You do not give your phone number”. He would return to work on his speech, his notebook sadly lacking my number and eventually gave me another back rub (I swear to god, I’m not making this shit up). And as the speech came swiftly off the photocopier, his arms went around my waist and he kissed me rather close to my mouth and said “You saved my life”.
He got divorced a month later. (You idiot, you TOTALLY should have given him your number!!!!!!!!!!)
Our paths would cross again a few years later when he made his Broadway debut. I waited for him at stage door. It took a moment, but he remembered me. My boyfriend at the time stood, slack jawed, as Brendan recalled my name. Once again, I figured it was inappropriate to give Brendan my number.
If anyone out there reading this knows Brendan… pls tell him I’m now single. I’d like to give him my number.
“So, when are you free to go to dinner?” (* not actual conversation had at this moment)